In reality I was scheming whether it were possible for me to seduce him and to fuck. I wondered, would his cock feel good? Would be make love or would he rape me? Would he fuck at all? Would he reject me? Would he prematurely squirt his sperm all over me? What did a full grown and erect cock look like? Did it taste good? Was it as nice to fuck as it was to masturbate?
In masturbation, there were no failures. Only success and pleasure.
Would he hurt me while fucking?